February 2012
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
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Wait other than Harry Potter I haven’t seen a single movie that’s been nominated for an oscar. I haven’t even heard of a lot of them.
WHAT IS THIS
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The amount of things one can discover from merely glancing at one’s facebook newsfeed is amazing.
HE’S AN INSTRUCTOR NOW? WHAT?
I really should’ve seen this one coming.
But oh my god I still remember when he used to kick so hard that the targets would go flying out of my hands and sometimes into my face. Sometimes I miss those days even though they were painful, because it...
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Sometimes when I log into tumblr...
ducksmith:
I’ll look at my dashboard and then smile and think to myself “I built this dashboard. I went to every blog and made the decision to follow them. This is a good dashboard.” And I feel all mushy and warm on the inside when I realize that other people have added me to their dashboard that they must also love and I just feel good.
And then I scroll down and there is literally a photoset...
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When there are two drowning babes in an olympic-sized pool, you do not jump in at the opposite side and attempt to swim over to them in your heavy clothes, especially if you suck at swimming the 50 meters. Also, don’t swim breaststroke.
Instead, you run over to whichever side of the pool is closest to them (since running is faster anyways) and then jump in. And freestyle will probably work...
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LOL I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS SHOW
So this guy is a complete idiot at work and he’s not very attractive to the females at his company but then it turns out that after work he puts on a wig and goes by the name of Ramses and is a tango instructor and everyone thinks he’s hot LOL oh god I am dying from laughing except that he just can’t say uno he always says une and I just want...
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Annotating is pretty much the bane of my existence and here I am trying to annotate three books at the same time. Why did I put this off for so long? What is wrong with me? I’m not even a procrastinator by nature.
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claraficati0n:
may there never be a day when a presidential candidate looks nothing like an snl cast member
me: I'm gonna study when I get home
me: I'll just study before I go to bed
me: I'll just study in the morning
me: I'll just study on the way to school
me: I'll just study in this class
me: I'll just study in the hall
me: I'll just study before the test
me: I'll just study during the test
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I tend to really just love third wheel characters. Sometimes they make me quite happy.
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Guys some of my friends keep calling me a hipster what is this I am not a hipster okay
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I don’t think she understands our relationship. I mean, every so often she’ll ask me if I have ever considered the fact that he might like me. (As in romantically.)
At that point I’ll feel the need to find an appropriate receptacle and hurl. This is a complete misunderstanding. (Especially considering who the person he likes is.) I’m basically a shrink, okay?
A guy and a...
“Some may blackly (angrily) accuse me of trying to blacken (defame) the English...”
– Robert B. Moore, “Racist Stereotyping in the English Language” (via sobrietytest)
mom: i don't understand what you do on the internet all the time
me: yeah neither do i
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I’m back and wow my brain is all messed up. Though I’ve had my fair share of disappointments, I’ve also had a lot of fun with some really awesome people.
(Also I’m watching this show and oh god I really feel for those third wheel characters LOL I am totally identifying with one right now. This is hilarious. The two people are dramatically reconciling and the guy watching...
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bornwithglitter replied to your post: bornwithglitter replied to your post: I don’t know…
Clearly Justin Timberlake needs to connect with these boys and teach them how to PROPERLY be in a boy band. He will do this by releasing another album and make music videos which involve a lot of dancing (especially in tight boyband formations).
OMG YES THIS IS THE PERFECT PLAN I LOVE YOU HANA
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bornwithglitter replied to your post: I don’t know if this is good or not but I have a…
a) YES JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE COME BACK. :( b) This prompted me to go listen to One Direction and I’m now realizing how catchy they are. youtu.be/Y1xs_xP…CUZ YOUUUUUU’VE GOT THAT ONE THING.
I just went and listened to them today thanks to Anjana and yes they are catchy BUT WHY DO THEY DO THINGS LIKE...
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person: idk
me: idk idk idk but i'm hot hot
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Also I got into Rutgers today so yay!
(Though that one was expected due to my parents both being alumni. Alumnus? Alumni? Whichever one it is.)
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Ah I feel better about the tournament! But now I gotta copy all my squalls stuff by tomorrow. Plus I gotta practice and pack and all that good stuff. When am I going to sleep, my god.
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ok the three dudes on the couch are just having a blast this music video is a party he just played guitar with a guy’s leg
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I don’t know if this is good or not but I have a somewhat unfortunate soft spot for boy bands who are very confident LOL “I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know but I’m hot hot. You know what you know what you know what what I mean mean” oh god these types of lyrics are the ones that kill me and who could forget “Am I your fire? Your one...
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ok there is this show on hulu named “Bachelor’s Vegetable Store” and it keeps recommending it to me and just LOL why would someone name a show that I don’t even know what to say it just amuses me so much this is just like the Manny oh my I never even finished watching that because the older sister got all cougar-ish and it scared me LOL
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The beginnings of the American Revolution,...
BRITISH EMPIRE: All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes-
AMERICAN COLONIES: Huzzah! Time to get drunk!
BRITISH EMPIRE: Except on tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: What?
BRITISH EMPIRE: Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now.
AMERICAN COLONIES: We’re not buying your stupid tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea?
AMERICAN COLONIES: Yes. We’ll drink coffee.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do you even know what that is?
AMERICAN COLONIES: No, but we’ve heard it’s good and we’re feeling surly.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore.
BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY: Actually, we are pretty much bankrupt, so you need to make them drink the tea.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Oh, for—just drink the tea.
AMERICAN COLONIES: No.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Do it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: NO.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it.
AMERICAN COLONIES: Fuck you.
BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face.
AMERICAN COLONIES: *Boston Tea Party*
BRITISH EMPIRE: What the hell?
AMERICAN COLONIES: We heard it was Indians.
BRITISH EMPIRE: That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar.
AMERICAN COLONIES: You get all types in Boston.
BRITISH EMPIRE: …*Coercive Acts*
AMERICAN COLONIES: Oh, it is ON.
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